Self Help

Self-empowerment simply means taking charge of your own life, you and only you decides what is right for you and where you want to go in the future, you make your own decisions and stick with them, not giving in to doubt or fear that you may have made the wrong choice. It is simply about taking your own life back into your own hands and listening to your inner self instead of relying on others for your future happiness and success. Most of us rely on others to make decisions for us and we go along with them, this can be for many different reasons such as insecurity, low self-esteem or simply because it seems the easiest way to go. We do this in a variety of situations, some are as simple as choosing which movie to go and see and you follow along with your partner’s choice or where you want to go and eat. Taking your life back into your own hands and making your own choices is a simple as making healthy positive choices be they mental, emotional or physical. The following are all tips for making the right choices that enables you to become self-empowering.

Replace negative thoughts with positive

We all have self-doubt at sometime or other, this is natural, but too many negative thoughts harm our way of thinking. Negative thinking however always seems to be so much easier to instil than positive, whether we care to believe it or not our feelings and how we feel or think does have a huge impact on our lives and what we think we are capable of achieving or not. We can so easily talk ourselves out of making decisions and choices if we listen to that small doubtful inner voice that so often shows up. It is those two little words that so often come to mind even without paying them much attention, “what if”, that cause so many problems. Once the “what if’s” have surfaced then self-doubt begins to take over every time and we can then go from a positive attitude to a negative one very quickly. Affirmations work well for changing negative thinking into positive thinking and affirmations are simply positive short statements that are repeated to oneself out loud or just in the mind. Write down four or five simple short statements and when self-doubt and the “what if’s” creep in consciously replace it with one of your chosen affirmations.

Avoid blaming others for your negative thoughts

Realise that it is you and only you which puts these negative thoughts there, for example if you get stuck in a traffic jam then you can curse and work yourself up all you want but it wont change the fact that your stuck in a jam. Do not blame other drivers, the road works holding you up etc., take responsibility for the fact that you chose to drive that way, you set off at that particular time and instead of stressing yourself and those around you just let it go and focus on aspects that are more positive while you are stuck. Take this time to listen to that new CD you bought, read the report from your briefcase, practise affirmations or a stress reducing exercise, there are many more positive things you can do during this time than think negative.

Decide what it is that you want

Start with the little everyday choices that you are faced with, for example when asked what movie you want to go and see, stop and think and make a choice don’t just ask what your partner or friend would like to see. When asked which restaurant you would like to go to, give a decisive answer. Take control of your life in the small ways first and build up gradually until you are comfortable with this new way of thinking. It will probably take a while for this new, more confident and positive way of thinking becomes easy, after all you have let negative thoughts and feelings rule your life for so long, they wont change overnight. By practising and pulling yourself up when negative thoughts and feelings enter your mind and doing this day in and day out slowly you will gain control back over your life and become more self-empowered.

Many people are put off from achieving what they really want to do in life simply because they do not have belief in themselves that they can, for these people the words “if only” are their first thought. Little do they realize that they have the power within themselves to accomplish anything if they are willing to change themselves?

Simply by changing how you think and feel gives you the power to change your life to the one you want, where everything is possible and within reach. Too often people think that change is beyond their control and so feel totally powerless to do anything to change the situation, however simply by changing ourselves or our outlook on life we can begin to take charge of our lives and make the changes needed.

Decide what it is you want from life

The first step to changing is deciding what it is exactly that you wish to change in your life or yourself, do you wish to change you yourself or is there some aspect in your life that you wish to change? Write down exactly what it is that you wish to change, making a list of everything that you aren’t happy with and what changes you wish to make. How we feel about ourselves has a lot to do with how we see life, if we are full of self-doubt and no confidence then this shows in how we present ourselves, too much self-doubt gets us down so the first step to taking your life back into your own hands is to change your outlook.

Taking the first steps

The first thing you should realize is that you and only you has the power to change and the secret to this is freeing your mind and body to start moving forward and making the changes needed. With a more positive attitude you will be able to change the way you feel and react and more importantly what you are able to achieve, you will be able to do this because you will have a different attitude towards life in general, others around you and how you are able to handle situations. Of course the changes will be small in the beginning but slowly you will begin to realize that changes are happening and it is you that is making this happen, you don’t have to rely on anyone else. Along with the positive changes you will feel better, have more self-esteem, confidence, be more enthusiastic and be self-motivated.

Taking responsibility for your life and realizing that you alone hold the power to the changes that are happening around you will bring enormous self-satisfaction if you simply remember to always keep an open mind and remember that you have nothing to lose.

Tips to help you change

• Clear the clutter – start your new outlook by clearing out all the clutter that is unnecessary in your life, this can be anything from your old clothes in the back of the closet that you will never wear again or the pile of magazines or newspapers tucked in the corner. Throw it all away and start fresh and clean, getting rid of clutter is an excellent step towards changing your outlook and losing old baggage.

• Attend a self-help course – if you need a helping hand to get you started then there are many classes that give help and advice for taking the first steps to taking control over your life.

• Read books and watch DVD’s – if going to a class is not for you then take advice from the many DVD’s and books that are out there to gain inspiration and set you on the right path.

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