Improvement in your self-esteem begins with you believing that you can do something about it. You need to recognize which aspects in your life are causing you to have a low self-esteem and to take steps to have victory over these feelings.

We are winners not losers.

Many people I speak to compare their worst achievements with those of other people’s best achievements. Don’t do it, you will always look bad.
Stop believing that you cannot achieve anything. If you believe you can’t, then you can’t. You are the only person that stands between what you can and cannot achieve.

Isolate the aspects that are causing the low self-esteem and take positive steps to improve the situation. If you think people don’t like you, go out and make the first move to build a new friendship. This can be a frightening experience in itself, but the rewards are worth it.
Determine not to let setbacks drag you down into the gloom.
Failures are a part of life and we need to deal with them. Learn from your failures but don’t become, or see yourself as a failure.

Start to develop a high self-esteem.
Every day tell yourself that you are better than you think

Begin your process of self-esteem improvement. Change your thinking and belief in yourself. See yourself as a winner. Focus on your successes. Associate with people that see you as a winner. Set goals that you can achieve quite easily to begin with.
Experience what success feels like.

A high self-esteem changes your life. You are able to give to others instead of crying for help.

It all starts with you and the way you see yourself.
Look at yourself and see potential, lots of potential.

Eddie Scotten

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We’re awashed in information. And the self-improvement arena is no exception. From the “clinical” to the “kooky”, the approaches that are coming at us are too fast, too furious.

And we end up becoming “techniques collectors” instead of actually doing what it takes to achieve those so-called improvements we desperately seek. But we’re missing the point. There is nothing to improve. “Self-improvement” is a misnomer. The self cannot be improved. It just IS.

Instead of trying to improve the self, simply slow down, take a deep breath, look at where you are and be quiet. Watch your thoughts. Don’t react, don’t respond, don’t analyze. Just watch. Notice that YOU are having thoughts.

That’s all.

Do this for some time and you’ll find that in time, your mind clears more easily, you become more aware of when you’re having “thought-attacks” and you don’t react. You have clarity of mind. You become attuned to what’s going on around and within you.

And out of the still center, your inner wisdom surfaces, and you’re able not only to cope, but to thrive. Yet, in the midst of it all, you’ll also have what we all seek more of — peace.

Kenneth Tang

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So, what are the options for improving physically? To begin with there is building body strength and stamina through regular indoor and outdoor exercise and, with the outdoors, comes breathing fresh air. Weight loss or gain, if appropriate, through changes in diet, are also important, as are eating healthier food and getting plenty of rest and sleep.

Mentally improvement can come through reasoning, solving problems, learning to make decisions and acquiring useful knowledge. Mental ability is also developed through learning to control attention, focusing and concentrating, thoughtfulness, and improving memory.

Emotional self-improvement comes from recognizing and developing feelings in oneself and learning to control those feelings, and through becoming sensitive to the personal needs of, and towards, others. Being open and receptive to beauty, as found in nature, helps to develop sensitivity.

Spiritual development does not necessarily mean joining a religion or following religious practices. Spiritual development can come from being open to the possibilities of the hidden aspects of life, especially the beauty and wonders of the world, and exploring the meaning of life. Taking time to explore spiritual teachings can enhance spiritual development and help guide a person’s direction in life, if they feel they need that.

Therese Donnelly

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S – Specific
M – Measurable
A – Attainable
R – Realistic
T – Time bounded

Specific
A goal should be written with as much specific wording as possible. ‘I want to lose weight’ is not as specific as ‘I want to lose 10 pounds.’ You have to know what you are shooting for before you can make a plan.

Measurable
A good goal should be measurable. ‘I want to be less shy’ isn’t measurable, but ‘I will introduce myself to five new people this week’ is measurable. If your goal is specific enough it is likely to measurable. If you can’t measure your progress you’ll never know if your effort is getting your closer to attaining the goal.

Attainable
The goal should be attainable for you. ‘I want to be an Olympic marathoner’ is probably not attainable for most of us. ‘I want to complete the Boston Marathon’ is attainable for most of us with a lot of work and dedication. If you set your goal too lofty your subconscious mind knows it and will keep you from even getting close.

Realistic
A realistic goal is a lot like attainable goal except it usually has a time frame involved. A realistic goal incorporates your real life into the mix. Expecting yourself to exercise every single day for a month doesn’t allow for the night that the car breaks down or that your boss hands you an urgent assignment. The unexpected will come up so expect it. You’ve not failed if you are making progress and persevere.

Time bound
Each goal should have a time frame associated with its completion. Without a time limit, most procrastinators will never begin and perfectionist will feel no need to tackle the steps needed. Our human natures need that extra push to get us started and keep us on track.

There’s one aspect missing to SMART. There should be a W.

Written
Write the goal on paper and post it somewhere visible for frequent review. Setting goals is an important step but if you forget what your goal is it is unlikely you will take any steps to achieving it.

Esjay Marquardt

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Self Improvement is really about becoming awake to who we are, how we feel, and how we impact others.
When we choose to take a path toward self improvement, it is often fueled by a desire to feel better and live a more fulfilled life. We become motivated by feelings of discontent and emptiness, searching for meaning and happiness. Once awake, we can make conscious choices about the life we create.

Sometimes we enter the path of self improvement because we feel pressured by a loved one or receive an ultimatum from an authority figure. We respond to statements such as ‘You deal with your anger, or else…’ or ‘You have to quit drinking, or else…’ But self improvement only works if we do it for ourselves, so we do need to eventually decide to “improve” for ourselves, and not because someone else told us we had to or our efforts will be shortlived.

Self improvement becomes a process of ‘owning our own stuff,’ and recognizing our projections and our blaming others for the circumstances in our lives. It is about learning we are responsible for our own happiness and wellbeing, that others cannot make us happy.
It is an inside job. Our relationships, work, activities, and interests can all enhance our lives, but none can make us happy. We have to choose that for our selves.

A path of self improvement can take us in many directions. We can use any of a variety of methods to become awakened and enhance our life experience. We can choose to practice meditation, create art, participate in self help groups or therapy, read books, or attend workshops. Each of these can help us identify the unconscious influences in our lives and free us to make conscious choices that enhance our well being, happiness, contentment, sense of purpose, and our relationships to other individuals.

Deb Vadnais

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Replace negative thoughts with positive

We all have self-doubt at sometime or other, this is natural, but too many negative thoughts harm our way of thinking. Negative thinking however always seems to be so much easier to instil than positive, whether we care to believe it or not our feelings and how we feel or think does have a huge impact on our lives and what we think we are capable of achieving or not. We can so easily talk ourselves out of making decisions and choices if we listen to that small doubtful inner voice that so often shows up. It is those two little words that so often come to mind even without paying them much attention, “what if”, that cause so many problems. Once the “what if’s” have surfaced then self-doubt begins to take over every time and we can then go from a positive attitude to a negative one very quickly. Affirmations work well for changing negative thinking into positive thinking and affirmations are simply positive short statements that are repeated to oneself out loud or just in the mind. Write down four or five simple short statements and when self-doubt and the “what if’s” creep in consciously replace it with one of your chosen affirmations.

Avoid blaming others for your negative thoughts

Realise that it is you and only you which puts these negative thoughts there, for example if you get stuck in a traffic jam then you can curse and work yourself up all you want but it wont change the fact that your stuck in a jam. Do not blame other drivers, the road works holding you up etc., take responsibility for the fact that you chose to drive that way, you set off at that particular time and instead of stressing yourself and those around you just let it go and focus on aspects that are more positive while you are stuck. Take this time to listen to that new CD you bought, read the report from your briefcase, practise affirmations or a stress reducing exercise, there are many more positive things you can do during this time than think negative.

Decide what it is that you want

Start with the little everyday choices that you are faced with, for example when asked what movie you want to go and see, stop and think and make a choice don’t just ask what your partner or friend would like to see. When asked which restaurant you would like to go to, give a decisive answer. Take control of your life in the small ways first and build up gradually until you are comfortable with this new way of thinking. It will probably take a while for this new, more confident and positive way of thinking becomes easy, after all you have let negative thoughts and feelings rule your life for so long, they wont change overnight. By practising and pulling yourself up when negative thoughts and feelings enter your mind and doing this day in and day out slowly you will gain control back over your life and become more self-empowered.

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